October 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

# Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

# If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

# Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

# Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

# Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”

# Practice making fax and modem noises.

# Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc.” them to your boss.

# Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

# Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”

# Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

# Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.

# Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

# Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”

# Staple papers in the middle of the page.

# Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a “croaking” noise.

# Honk and wave to strangers.

# Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

# TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..

# type only in lowercase.

# dont use any punctuation either

# Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

# Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”

# As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

# Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.

# Ask people what gender they are.

# While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

# Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

# Sing along at the opera.

October 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

1. Geez, what died in here?

2. He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.

3. Nice service…where’s the keg?

4. When did he die…really…hey Bob, you won the pool!!!

5. Hey, we’re with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we’re looking for…oh, never mind.

6. Don’t look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.

7. You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.

8. Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.

October 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

1. “This is my tryout for Nascar.”

2. “I’ve got to get back to Amish Country before they realize that I am missing.”

3. “That McDonald’s offer is for a Limited Time only and buddy, that could run out at ANYTIME!”

4. “I’m trying to rush home for the new Hanson video debut on MTV.”

5. “Cause those Gorditas rule.”

6. “Uh-Oh..Wapner’s on…I’m an excellent driver.”

7. “Trying to see how fast a Yugo can go.”

8. “Umm..I’m drunk?”

9. “Trying to outrun the radio signal that is playing that lousy Alannis Morisette “Uninvited” song!”