October 26th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

IT STARTS OFF LIKE THIS:

*The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese:

* White kid says: “My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good.”

*Black kid says: “My daddy told my momma to go get the Government cheese And she didn’t, so my daddy punched her in the liver.”

*Latino kid says: “Some kids were trying to look under my sister’s dress and I told the cabrones, “Hey Putos!!! liver alone, cheese my sister!”

**If Ur A Real LATINO, repost this saying “LATINO JOKE” [if ur a true LATINO u'll get the jokE [[HAHAHA ]]THIS IS FUN

October 26th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!”, “I’m
broke!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door
and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a
damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this
morning.”

What part of broke do you not understand?

October 26th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won’t let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. “First, you must wear a diaphragm.”
Cinderella agrees. “What’s the second condition?”
“You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.”

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn’t show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
“Where have you been?” demands the Fairy Godmother. “Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!” “I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything.” The Fairy Godmother stated, “I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!”
Cinderella replied, I can’t remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater.”

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, “How’s the girlfriend?”
Pinocchio replied, “Who needs a girlfriend?”

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, “You say here that your wife is crazy.”
Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s f**king
Goofy.”

Did you know..Captain Hook died from jock itch.

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. “What’s that?” he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
“Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.”
Horrified, she said, ” Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly.” She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. “Here,” she said, “you must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,”What the hell did you do that for?”
“Just checking for bees,” said Tarzan

October 26th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

You know your addicted to Myspace when:

1. You are at a bar or club and you suddenly realize you recognize someone. You can’t figure out how and then it dawns on you… You have never met this person before, but have spent a considerable amount of time looking at their Myspace.
2. After meeting someone your conversation somehow leads to – “So, are you on Myspace?”
3. You do not call people anymore, you post comments and send messages through Myspace
4. When talking about one of your friends you just refer to them as ‘Brandonisforlovers’ rather than their real name.
5. When you’re out with friends and you take a good picture you exclaim loudly, “That’s going on Myspace!”
6. Conversations with friends tend to lead to, “Did you read that bulletin/comment/ or see that new picture ‘Cuddlemaria’ left?”
7. You check your Myspace as soon as you wake up, and right before you go to bed, including the 10 times you check it during the day
8. You know people who have gotten offended about the Top 8.
9. You start off intending to check if you have new messages/comments but find AN HOUR LATER that you are still on and have no idea what you even accomplished during that time except stalk.