August 17th, 2009 by MySpace Bulletins
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”
“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!”, “I’m
broke!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door
and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a
damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this
morning.”
What part of broke do you not understand?
August 17th, 2009 by MySpace Bulletins
FEMALE COMEBACKS
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this….
If you don’t resend this then your love life will be doomed for
eternity…
November 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins
When I get drunk, I:
Do you talk about Religion or Deep meaning thoughts:
Do you Cry?
Do you get Angry?
Do you Vomit?
After 7 beers are you drunk?
After 1 shot of 151 you are?
Your favorite drink is?
Tequila does what to you?
Whiskey makes you?
Who do you drink with?
Vodka makes you?
Do you smoke when you drink?
On the rocks or straight up?
Do you Pass Out?
Do you drink girly drinks?
Do you drink alone?
Worst Drink you have ever had?
Do you play drinking games?
Drunk Phone Calls to people?
Drink and Drive?
What is your favorite beer?
What is your favorite mixed drink?
What is your favorite shot?
What will you NOT drink?
Are you a lightweight?
Do you like the drinks with the little umbrellas?
Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver?
Do you like frozen drinks?
Do you drink liquor straight?
Do you ever drink out of the bottle?
Have you ever had a jagerbomb?
Are you drunk right now?
Do you consume more than 2 alcoholic beverages a day?
Do you drink a lot of wine?
When is the last time you drank?
Have you ever thrown up from drinking?
Ever done a Keg Stand?
Name someone that will repost this drinking survey?
Ever been streaking while drinking?
Failed any college courses due to alcohol alone?
Ever woken up & said “dude where’s my car?
Ever carried someone due to their drunkenness?
Have you ever cleaned up a friends puke?
Puked in a friend?s car?
Ever drank more beers than years?
Ever smash a beer bottle when mad?
November 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins
Do you tend to speed when you drive?
Does your temper flare a lot?
Do you get emotional easily?
Which shoe goes on first?
Are you lazy?
Name one thing you do that people always tell you about:
Are you superstitious?
Do you get bored with relationships quickly?
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
What do you sleep in?
YOUR ABCs
A – is for the last person that made you ANGRY:
B – is for BEER you prefer:
C – is for do you have a CAT?
D – is for can you DANCE?
E – is for do you have your EARS pierced?
F – is for your best FRIEND?
G – is for did you ever watch GUTS on Nickelodeon?
H – is for the last person who HUGGED you?
I – is for close your eyes.. what IMAGE do you see?
J – is for have you ever been to JAIL?
K – is for when is the last time you flew a KITE?
L – is for your first LOVE:
M – is for the last piece of MAIL you got?
N – is for do you remember NERF guns?
O – is for do you OWN a car?
P – is for your favorite PASTTIME?
Q – is for do you like peace & QUIET?
R – is for do you like the color RED?
S – is for how many hours of SLEEP you need to function?:
T – is for what TIME is it?
U – is for what is UNDER your bed?
V – is for what you did last VALENTINE’S day:
W – is for do you drink a lot of WATER?
X – is for have you ever had an X-RAY?
Y – is for the last person you YELLED at?
Z – is for have you ever watched ZORRO?
RANDOM
Who do you wish you could hang out with right now?
Name one thing you absolutely can not stand:
Where do you spend most of your time?
Have you ever hit a squirrel when you were driving?
Did your car ever break down?
What is the longest amount of time you’ve been awake?
What would you do if you found out the world was ending in one week?
Do scary movies make you paranoid when you watch them alone?
Name one thing you’ve lied about recently.
What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
Who was the first person to ever give you flowers?
November 8th, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins
YOUR REAL NAME:
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle.)
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name.)
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
YOUR ARABIC NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name)
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:( Parents middle names)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
