October 31st, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

some people wonder why i dont talk about my mother

its not that i dont love her, its just that i dont see her

i havent for a month or so….she’s in a faraway place

but she’s very happy there, she doesnt tell me but i know she is

i miss her so much, i think about her whenever i laugh smile anything

she had cancer….she didnt feel any pain, that i know of

i visted her everyday after school and i didnt tell anyone

i didnt want people feeling bad for me…saying they’re sorry for my loss

i felt so bad after i screamed at her

she used to call me every night, her being deaf she cant really hear what im saying

so i have to repeat myself sometimes and i get agitated and i yell at her

and i can hear her soft cry over the phone when she’s trying to hold it in

when we were together i always said to her, “You’ll the only thing keeping me alive.”

and i meant it, but sometimes it feels like i didnt

i made her cry multiple times when i should of reached out and gave her a hug

the last visit, i will never forget

i spent time in her room for hours doing my homework

holding her hand saying how much i love her and not wanting her to die

then i said “You’ll the only thing keeping me alive.”

and what she said made me cry, “Don’t let me be the only thing keeping you alive.”

i left awhile later still thinking about what she meant

and i realized it while i was in the car, i started crying then i begged my dad to take me back but he knew what happened

when i got home i called the hospital to tell her something

“Will you tell my mom that i love her, and that i always did and always will…..i dont want her to leave me alone with people i dont even like”
“Tell her, that i’m sorry for what i’ve said and im sorry that i got mad, i dont want her to leave cuz now im sad”

she told me news that i could go without hearing “Your mother passed away right after you left.” I started crying even harder

i hung up the phone and thought to myself, “She kept herself alive to see me one last time, to say goodbye.”

So now when people ask me about my mother i just say “I havent seen her in awhile, and wish i could everyday. But she’s in a better place today.”

If you love someone then repost this
If you dont repost this, then the one you really love, really care about will leave you forever

October 31st, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

I was walking down the halls when i heard something break, everyone was gone because it was past eight
i have to stay after to help the Janitor because i have community service for taking the blame for my one true love
i went to the room where i heard the noise and i saw it all
i saw him kiss and take off the clothes of that whore
i saw the whole thing, and i know her as well
she’s my bestfriend and i cant help but cry but i hold it end so i wont die
i hide behind a big trashcan so they cant see me, my eyes are going blind with all those tears
i cant stop so i run away and i call my so called love he picks up like theres nothing wrong, “Hey Baby, whats up?” “Nothing, just watching two scumbags makeout in a classroom.” “O is it on tv?” “No, anyways, whats up with you.” “Nothing just picking up my room.” “Really?” at this point im crying, “Baby whats wrong?”
“Whats wrong? I thought i was the only one, you make-out with my bestfriend. I thought u loved me. I didnt want you to cheat, i took the blame for u and u didnt even care
whats wrong with you!” He’s crying as well, “Wha..I’m sorry, i didnt know u would find out.” “Well i did, i watched the whole thing you fag!”
I ran out of the school trying not to choke on my tears
hearing him scream my name i cant help but feel bad
because he was the one i truly loved but i cant say the same thing for him
i ran up the stairs to my house and closed the door right on his face
he cried out my name, “Baby im sorry, Baby!” I stood there with a broken heart, hearing the man that broke it cry out my name.
I went upstairs to write him a letter to tell him what i felt when we were together.
“You already know that i loved you, and that i care.
But i cant bare to watch you with a slut that is my bestfrined. How could you do that.
It doesnt matter cuz we’re not getting back together,
but i loved you, i loved your smile and the way you talked, i love how u put me on your shoulders and never let me fall
i loved how we always got along and that we never fight. I loved the way you wrote my name and how you called every night
i love how you know whats wrong, and that you read my mind
i even love the ring i found in your jacket the other day
I love how i was gonna say yes, and we would start a new life, i loved you because you said that i was your life and that you actually meant it
i thought we would last but look what we’ve came to.”

I slid the note under the door, and he yelled out “I’m sorry baby, the ring was meant for you and it still is.” I went back upstairs and cried under my covers like a little kid.
I could still here him cry and him say he was sorry, i walked out the door yesterday morning with not even a worry
he tried to stop me, but i didnt say a word.
he gave me a note and i couldnt help but read it
and no it didnt say “With out your love i would die,” it said something but better.
“I dont know what i was thinking, i didnt feel anything. I know you wont believe me but it was for you. I knew if i didnt feel anything with her that your the one
but i should’ve told myself u were
i love you so much, i love your family and i know they love me
i know you care and i care about u
its just i cant see you like this so i’ll try very hard to pick you up out of the dark that i caused
i didnt know that u took blame, and u should’ve let me cuz i have nothing to loose
u were my life and now i lost you but i wont kill myself, not that way i’ll make myself pay one day
i love you, and that is true. The ring i bought u cost all my money in the world, i just wanted to wake up with you every morning to see the freckles on your face
i wanted you to know that you were my amazing grace
so i hope you will someday forgive me, and i do really care i love you so much, so much that i sware.”
I never did forget that, i pinned it up on my wall.
I guess you can say that i forgive him but i cant marry a grave, i put the note that i wrote so many years ago on his coffin when they were putting him in
i kissed a dead man’s cheek that day, and i will never forget him and any of his ways

October 31st, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

Would you still love me if you knew my pain?
Would you still love me if you’d seen these scars?
Would you still be there if you felt my sorrow?
Would you still stay if you experienced my hurt?

Would you be here if you knew that I cut,
Cut away the pain and anguish?
Would you still love me if you saw that blood,
The blood that flows in place of my tears?

Would you still stay if you saw that razor,
The razor that gives me these awful scars?
Would you be here if you saw me,
Saw me swipe it across my arm?

Would you leave once you seen the blood trickle down me?
Or would you be here to watch over and love me?
Would you run once you saw the satisfaction on my face?
Or stay by my side until I became sane again?

Would you laugh at my cuts and call me a fool?
Or hold my hand and hold me close too?
Would you love me inspite my faults and pain?
Or is that all you could see, nothing to gain?

Would you love me if you knew what I’ve faced?
Or would you think our time just a waste?
What would you do, oh what would you think?
Could you ever love these scars the way you love me?

October 31st, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

To every girl….if you almost cry while reading this, it includes you….

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart
out there again, because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl that
dresses cute, not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day
looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he chose that other girl instead

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once like
to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give
their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
‘maybe this one could be the one’.

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn’t think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one
and only and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that doesn’t want a guy who
just plays with her emotions but actually cares
about how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has faith that ‘tomorrow will be a better day.’

And it will be.

October 31st, 2008 by MySpace Bulletins

To every guy that’s said, “You’re beautiful.”

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town (or across the state)( or across the country ) to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she’s sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait hours to see her, even if they could only spend a few minutes together.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. And honestly believed what he said.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought “maybe this could be the one”.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that wasn’t just trying to get laid.

To every guy that gave his heart and still has a piece missing.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if he is not the one that makes her that way.

To every guy who doesnt care how far away she lives, and will still date her because it’s her.

To every guy who cares the most about how she feels, even when she breaks your heart.

To every guy that listens to a girl complain about butt hole guys, but prove the very point that not all are.

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore… And because of this, there are not many left out there…